My 10-week-old wakes up 3+ times a night. With my first daughter, I dreaded every night and hated each wake-up. This time around I have found ways to make waking up in the middle of the night with my baby more enjoyable.
Waking up with your baby in the middle of the night can be frustrating, annoying and dreadful. Especially, when it’s been going on for months, it happens more times than you can count, and you are chronically sleep-deprived.
I have learned with my two kids that we can’t make our kids fall asleep or not wake up during the night. However, we can create a sleep plan with our partner that guarantees sufficient sleep for both parents. In addition, we can control how we react to night wakings.
Here are 3 ways how to make night wakings with your baby more enjoyable:
1. Listen to your favourite podcast or read with Kindle
Before going to sleep, I make sure I have several podcast episodes lined up that I can listen to when my daughter wakes up during the night. My current favorite podcasts are Momwell, Good Inside with Dr. Becky Kennedy, and Deep Questions by Cal Newport.
I have also tried listening to audiobooks by using the Libby app. It lets you listen to audiobooks for free with your library card!
Another option is using a Kindle (or some other e-reader) to read books. It is important to use an e-reader that doesn’t emit blue light which will make it harder to fall back to sleep after you’ve finished with your baby.
2. Reframe your negative thoughts
I think it’s important to start with validating and normalizing feelings when our baby wakes up in the middle of the night. “It’s normal that I feel frustrated waking up at 2 am while my partner is snoring next to me!”
However, it is not helpful to dwell on the negative feelings which will only make them last longer or escalate them. Like Hamlet said, “There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so”.
Notice your negative thoughts and then try to talk back to them. It takes some practice and sometimes you need help from a psychologist to be able to do it effectively.
I’ve found it’s also helpful to have a mantra to repeat in my head when my daughter wakes up during the night. “This too shall pass”. “Rough nights don’t mean bad days”. Or whatever else is relevant to your situation.
3. Make it a time of connection
Oftentimes, we feel all alone at 3 am in the morning nursing, rocking or soothing our babies. That is why I’ve started to think about all the other women who are probably up at the same time nursing their babies. This makes me feel like I belong to a community with shared struggles and joys.
Another option is to have a group chat with other moms with babies around the same age. You can send encouraging messages to each other or share the frustration of being up for the third time that night!
In addition, it is a great way to connect with friends and family in different time zones. I sometimes send a message to my friend in Estonia (9 hours ahead of me) before I go to bed. Then, when I’m nursing my baby a few hours later, I can read her response and feel her support.
Waking up several times a night with your baby can be frustrating, annoying and all but fun and it also can be a time that we enjoy. I have found three easy ways to make waking up at night with my 10-week-old less miserable:
- Listen or read something you enjoy
- Have a mantra or practice talking back to your negative thoughts
- Make it a time of connection.
If you are struggling with night wakings with your baby because you tend to go down the negative spiral or are so sleep-deprived that you can’t think, this is something I can help you with! If you would like to learn more about how I help my clients schedule a free 20-minute consultation or read more about it here.
