About
Looking for That Certain Spark – That Special Connection with a Therapist
Well, You’ve Found It!
You’ve been relentlessly searching websites and pouring over Psychology Today profiles, hoping to find the “right” therapist. But all you keep reading about is degrees, completed training, and non-profit work experience.
All you want is to find someone who understands your specific problems and helps you do the hard work of getting better. A genuine ally – who knows the worst and still stands by your side – without judgment – no matter how tough it gets.
You seek a bond of deep trust and connection – with someone who understands what you’re going through without making you lie on a couch for a decade.
Someone who knows you’re ready to pull up your sleeves and get to work.
Lately, you’ve been feeling alone – not because there aren’t people around you, but because no one genuinely understands what you’re going through.
Or they just brush off your concerns, attributing them to lack of sleep, the season, or “hormones.”
As a working mother myself, I know how hard it can be. Exhausted and overwhelmed – feeling inadequate. Some days, you struggle to get out of bed, constantly worrying about “what ifs.”
Guilty and embarrassed because you feel you can’t live up to expectations of others or yourself.
In those moments, it feels like you’re all alone in your misery – and it will never get better.
But you’re not all alone, and how you feel today isn’t forever.
Find That Someone Who Knows How to Help
Feeling heard and understood is important, but learning how to get better is even more important.
Doctors and well-intentioned friends have recommended exercise, meditation, deep breaths, or whatever else is currently trending. Maybe these help in the moment or for a short time, but soon, the negative feelings and thoughts return.
My name is Marii-Heleen Motsmees and I won’t give you a Band-Aid solution.
My goal is to work together to fill your toolbox with effective strategies you can use whenever you feel anxious, sad, or just not good enough.
Together, we’ll build your resilience to tolerate difficult situations and look forward to challenges with excitement.
Someone Who Does More Than Just Smile
Therapy is not an exact science. Sometimes, it’s hard to know if you are making progress – especially because it’s nice to spend an hour talking with someone fully present – someone who treats you with compassion and unconditional positive regard.
It’s awesome to have such an ally in your corner.
But we also know that “just talking” doesn’t lead to recovery.
And a Process That Holds Us Both Accountable
I hold myself accountable by tracking your symptoms before and after your session to ensure we’re moving in the right direction.
In addition, you will give me feedback about the session to show what is and isn’t working for you.
Therapy should be an active process – during which you discover yourself and learn new ways to approach your problems and relationships in your life. Thus, exercises, role-plays, and experiments will play an important part in our sessions.
However, you’ll be in the driver’s seat by controlling your goals and working at the pace that’s best for you. Most importantly, you’ll be doing homework between every session to accelerate your recovery by tenfold.
So, you can feel great ASAP.
You’ve suffered long enough, so I use the TEAM-CBT approach for rapid recovery.
We’ll follow the principle “fail as fast as you can” to find the right “tools” to help you feel great again as quickly as possible.
Healing is not an easy journey, and there will be ups and downs. However, by the end of the therapy, you’ll see the joy in life.
Let’s work together!
With the right help, you can change how you feel.
Reach out to me today.
Let’s do this work together – because all the pain you are feeling right now does not need to last forever.
About Marii-Heleen Motsmees
“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”
– Frederick Douglas
I discovered psychology early in high school.
I knew I wanted to be a psychologist when I was 15 years old. I was inspired by my grade 9 health teacher, a school psychologist, and now mother-in-law, who had an HR company. I learned that it’s important to know the “why” behind the behavior, how valuable creating a connection is, and how cool it is to oversee your own schedule.
To test if I would enjoy being a psychologist, I shadowed a psychotherapist working in a jail. She brought in a few of her clients who shared their stories (some made me anxious that they were sitting a meter away from me!) and how the therapy had helped them. It was the best day of my young life! However, I also realized how important childhood is in our lives.
So, I decided to work with kids for my career – to be the adult in their lives that they can trust and who tries to understand them.
However, after working with kids for a couple of years, I realized it is more effective to help the adults in their lives, so they can be that safe person for their kids 24/7 instead of just the one hour a week I was able to support them.
And then I became a mother myself.
Finally, I understood why they say that parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world! I struggled with severe sleep deprivation throughout the first year, worrying about my daughter hitting her milestones and feeling disconnected from my husband.
It was hard to create a village around me (the pandemic had not started yet) as my family lived thousands of miles away, and most of my friends didn’t have kids. I felt alone, anxious, and depressed.
Fortunately, that is also when I discovered TEAM-CBT. Through the teachings of David Burns, reading his books, and doing the work, I started to feel better. Finally, I could start making changes in my life that led me to feel happy, calm, and connected with people around me. It also helped me overcome social anxiety that held me back from creating my village and seeking out support from other mothers.
“I continue to believe that if children are given the necessary tools to succeed, they will succeed beyond their wildest dreams.”
– David Vitter
And then my daughter hit toddlerhood.
I will be proud of her persistence, determination, passion, knowing exactly what she wants and fiercely going after it, and excellent negotiation skills when she is a teenager or maybe an adult. But these traits can be very frustrating characteristics for a two-year-old.
However, I knew how important it was to appropriately respond to these behaviors, teach her skills to regulate herself, and provide her with the right mindset around approaching hard things.
Thankfully, I had the knowledge base for all my daughter presented but lacked the real-life experience. Fortunately, she provides me with a lot of opportunities for practice!
Our struggles become our greatest teachers.
You might be wondering why I’m sharing my story. I’m trying to say that I know how hard it can be to struggle with anxiety, depression, and feeling like you are failing as a parent. I understand your struggles and how hopeless the situation feels sometimes.
And I also know there is a way out without escaping from your life (literally or figuratively… although a month at the Caribbean does sound lovely!).
Sometimes, the key is to learn new skills that will help you be more compassionate, accepting, and kind to yourself.
Another time, it is about knowing the facts about brain development, understanding the behaviors, adding tools to your toolbox, and prioritizing yourself to be the calm adult in the room.
I know the journey will not be easy, but I know that you can do it with the right support. And I would love to support you throughout your journey.
Here are my credentials:
- Registered Psychologist with College of Alberta Psychologist (#5592)
- Level 3 certified TEAM-CBT therapist
- Completed advanced training in Solution-Focused Brief Therapy
- Completed specialized training in Perinatal Mood Disorders with Postpartum Support International
- Master’s Degree from the University of Tartu (specializing in school and clinical psychology)
When I’m not working…
When I’m not currently working with clients or improving my therapy skills in various supervision groups, I love spending time reading, hiking in the mountains, or hosting dinner parties for my friends.
My daughter and I are also hopeful to have a dog in our lives, but it will take me another two-to-three years to convince my husband that it is a great idea!
Are you ready to take back your life and start enjoying the ride? Then book a call with me today!